Tuesday, December 08, 2009
We've Moved!
In an effort to consoladate our blogs, we've moved them to a new server. They can all be found at http://blog.caffeinatednerd.com.
Monday, August 10, 2009
I got a call from Linnea's doctor this morning with the results of an ultrasound we had done last week. I was born with hip dysplasia, and had wear a corrective brace for nine months as an infant. Because hip dysplasia is a genetic defect, we have been careful to screen our children for it. However, since Iris showed no sign of the defect, I assumed Linnea would be exempt from my genes as well. Unfortunately, this is not the case. My happy, carefree baby was found to have a mild case. The doctor assured me over the phone that this was nothing to worry about, it just meant a few x-rays, and the vast majority of babies who have this are fine with no treatment; it just works itself out on its own. I had a worse case than Linnea does, and, as Josh reminded me, I'm a runner. So everything should be fine and dandy.
But then, why do I hurt so much? I've been on the verge of tears all day, have completely lost my appetite (something that I've found happens when my kids are sick or I'm worried about their health), and can't seem to get it off of my mind. I think there is a kind of hurt that you can experience as a mom that no one else can understand. Even if you know everything is going to be okay, there is a deep internal pang that overrides everything, and almost feels as though a giant lump is taking the place of all of your internal organs. Yes, it's that physical of a feeling. You find that all you want for your kids is for them to be happy, for no hardship to stand in their way, whether or not it would be good for them. I know the logic--life has trials and we learn from them, so my kids need them, too. But that's not how I feel. You can try all you like to create a safe place where your children will feel nothing but happiness, and life and the world intrude. I suppose all we can do is equip them to deal well with life, to make the best out of every situation. Perhaps this is more a learning experience for me than anything. I just wish learning wasn't so hard.
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Projects Forever Undone
I have carefully chosen fabric for a summer outfit for Linnea.
And one for Iris.
And fresh peaches waiting to be made into some sort of culinary treat.
And a box of freshly picked tomatoes and peppers that I still haven't decided how to use.
And a sweater that I've been knitting for 4 years now that was going to be for a friend, then for Iris, now for Linnea, and may not even be ready for her.
And a stack of books about a foot high, borrowed and recently purchased, all of which I swear I'm going to read next.
And a novel that I am working on.
And too much homemade yogurt to be consumed in the allotted time, needing another purpose.
And photography books that I need to research.
And many other things that I'm sure I'm forgetting now, but will haunt me when I remember them.
Does it ever stop? Do I ever say "no" to the accumulation of projects? Do I ever refuse a craft or creation that sounds intriguing? Of course not! I am Supermom! Hear me roar.
However, the other part of the question is this: Do I ever actually get any of it done?
This summer has been better than most in respect to my creative processes. I have written a whole chapter in my book as well as explored other ideas, I have *gasp* used my entire collection of fresh fruit to make new and interesting foods without letting (hardly) any go to waste, I have even helped Josh get our business going. But the list goes on. And I keep adding to it.
I think it's some sort of addiction. If I always have projects and places where I am needed, I will never outlive my usefulness, right? But instead of feeling this way, I usually simply end up feeling overwhelmed and frustrated with myself for not being a better housekeeper, mom, writer, cook, creator. I constantly think, "if only I had more time." But the strange thing is, I remember thinking that when I only hand Iris. And when I didn't have kids. And even when I didn't have a job. I think it's a constant part of my personality to overload my days and always wish for more time.
So, I suppose the moral of the story is to do as much as I can enjoy doing, and not get upset over the things that fall through the cracks. The most important thing about this time is that I can watch my beautiful girls grow up, not sew them an outfit they will never remember wearing! This time is short, and I'm working on focusing my efforts toward improving their quality of life and building great memories. I suppose that's why my list will truly forever remain undone!
And one for Iris.
And fresh peaches waiting to be made into some sort of culinary treat.
And a box of freshly picked tomatoes and peppers that I still haven't decided how to use.
And a sweater that I've been knitting for 4 years now that was going to be for a friend, then for Iris, now for Linnea, and may not even be ready for her.
And a stack of books about a foot high, borrowed and recently purchased, all of which I swear I'm going to read next.
And a novel that I am working on.
And too much homemade yogurt to be consumed in the allotted time, needing another purpose.
And photography books that I need to research.
And many other things that I'm sure I'm forgetting now, but will haunt me when I remember them.
Does it ever stop? Do I ever say "no" to the accumulation of projects? Do I ever refuse a craft or creation that sounds intriguing? Of course not! I am Supermom! Hear me roar.
However, the other part of the question is this: Do I ever actually get any of it done?
This summer has been better than most in respect to my creative processes. I have written a whole chapter in my book as well as explored other ideas, I have *gasp* used my entire collection of fresh fruit to make new and interesting foods without letting (hardly) any go to waste, I have even helped Josh get our business going. But the list goes on. And I keep adding to it.
I think it's some sort of addiction. If I always have projects and places where I am needed, I will never outlive my usefulness, right? But instead of feeling this way, I usually simply end up feeling overwhelmed and frustrated with myself for not being a better housekeeper, mom, writer, cook, creator. I constantly think, "if only I had more time." But the strange thing is, I remember thinking that when I only hand Iris. And when I didn't have kids. And even when I didn't have a job. I think it's a constant part of my personality to overload my days and always wish for more time.
So, I suppose the moral of the story is to do as much as I can enjoy doing, and not get upset over the things that fall through the cracks. The most important thing about this time is that I can watch my beautiful girls grow up, not sew them an outfit they will never remember wearing! This time is short, and I'm working on focusing my efforts toward improving their quality of life and building great memories. I suppose that's why my list will truly forever remain undone!
Sunday, August 02, 2009
Growly Bear
If you are wondering why I am posting so often all of a sudden, it's for two reasons. First of all, I told you I would. =) Secondly, I've agreed to a Write Fifteen Minutes A Day challenge hosted by Laurie Halse Anderson, and when it's this late by the time I get around to it, I don't really want to work on my WIP. So you, dear readers, get to hear my rants. =)
I thought I would dedicate this post to my beautiful Linnea. Not that I want to exclude Iris, but she maintained control of the blog for a year and a half, so it's time for her to share the spotlight. I may have mentioned before how much more interactive Linnea is becoming. This is most evident in her pre-crawling efforts. That's right, I said pre-crawling. A four-month-old. How is it that I seem to get the strong, active ones? I knew she had begun to move around her crib a lot at night, especially after she learned to roll over. You know how the doctors tell you constantly to put your baby on their back to sleep? I'd like them to come to my house and tell me how it's done. Neither of my children has slept on their back since they were three months old. It doesn't matter how many times I roll her onto her back, Linnea immediately pops around to her more preferred position. And then she crawls. Or scoots. Or whatever you want to call pushing with her back feet and pulling with her arms. She can't get her belly up yet (and with as much milk as she's been drinking lately, it's no wonder!), but she does all she can to move around to whatever she wants. The other day I watched her progress from her playmat to the carpet and back again in a period of about 30 minutes. I'm in for trouble with the two of them!
Linnea has also become quite a chatterbox. Though Iris now talks nonstop, I don't remember her being quite so talkative at this stage. I wonder what that means for my future. Hmmm. But Linnea doesn't only resort to cooing and laughing (she has the most infectious laugh you can imagine!), she now growls. Like a bear. She makes better bear and lion sounds than Iris herself! These aren't angry growls, by any means, but rather happy ones. It is hilarious, though, to be looking into the happy, contented face of my young baby and hearing a low, gutteral growl emerge.
I always worried about having two. I had so many insecurities about loving and enjoying another as much as I love and enjoy Iris. But even though I'm not a baby person, it's somehow different when you have your own. It's crazy, but I'm having the time of my life!
I thought I would dedicate this post to my beautiful Linnea. Not that I want to exclude Iris, but she maintained control of the blog for a year and a half, so it's time for her to share the spotlight. I may have mentioned before how much more interactive Linnea is becoming. This is most evident in her pre-crawling efforts. That's right, I said pre-crawling. A four-month-old. How is it that I seem to get the strong, active ones? I knew she had begun to move around her crib a lot at night, especially after she learned to roll over. You know how the doctors tell you constantly to put your baby on their back to sleep? I'd like them to come to my house and tell me how it's done. Neither of my children has slept on their back since they were three months old. It doesn't matter how many times I roll her onto her back, Linnea immediately pops around to her more preferred position. And then she crawls. Or scoots. Or whatever you want to call pushing with her back feet and pulling with her arms. She can't get her belly up yet (and with as much milk as she's been drinking lately, it's no wonder!), but she does all she can to move around to whatever she wants. The other day I watched her progress from her playmat to the carpet and back again in a period of about 30 minutes. I'm in for trouble with the two of them!
Linnea has also become quite a chatterbox. Though Iris now talks nonstop, I don't remember her being quite so talkative at this stage. I wonder what that means for my future. Hmmm. But Linnea doesn't only resort to cooing and laughing (she has the most infectious laugh you can imagine!), she now growls. Like a bear. She makes better bear and lion sounds than Iris herself! These aren't angry growls, by any means, but rather happy ones. It is hilarious, though, to be looking into the happy, contented face of my young baby and hearing a low, gutteral growl emerge.
I always worried about having two. I had so many insecurities about loving and enjoying another as much as I love and enjoy Iris. But even though I'm not a baby person, it's somehow different when you have your own. It's crazy, but I'm having the time of my life!
Fair Time!
Today we took our first family trip to the fair. After talking about taking Iris to the state fair, with a complete lack of enthusiasm from both Josh and I (feeling guilty all the while because we should, of course, want to take her), Josh drove by the Benton County fairgrounds one day to find that they were setting up for the county fair. I don't know if I've ever actually been to a county fair. I've dropped off 4-H projects, but never, to my knowledge, stayed for the experience. I always believed county fairs to be a place of livestock, crafts, and complete boredom. However, I was either wrong, or our county is just fantastic. I now wonder why we ever even considered going to the state fair. Here, you have all of the animals, rides, food, and even rodeo (it wouldn't be Oregon without it!) that the state fair offers, but on a smaller scale. And it's even close to home! As a parent of young kids, this makes it especially appealing.
We decided to introduce Iris to the fun and excitement of fair rides. They had it all--the carousel, the giant slide, the plastic hot-air balloons that get three feet off of the ground. However, my fun-loving, never-scared-of-anything go-getter decided 2/3 of the way into the carousel that she was done for the day. At least it was long enough for a picture.
Linnea did quite well despite the temperatures in the 90's and the complete lack of any naps. But all the heat and overtiredness got to her eventually, and she slept--through the bells and whistles and shrieking kids, she slept. Though she woke up as soon as we put her in peace and quiet and coolness of the car. Go figure.
Iris did appreciate the animals, though (there was even an exhibit with reptiles, a giant tortoise, and a lion cub), and Josh and I took advantage of the nearness of the fair to home. After the kids were in bed, we called some friends over to watch them and headed back to ride a few rides ourselves. All in all, though, it was a lot of fun, and I think, for a few years at least, we'll stay on the small scale.
We decided to introduce Iris to the fun and excitement of fair rides. They had it all--the carousel, the giant slide, the plastic hot-air balloons that get three feet off of the ground. However, my fun-loving, never-scared-of-anything go-getter decided 2/3 of the way into the carousel that she was done for the day. At least it was long enough for a picture.
Linnea did quite well despite the temperatures in the 90's and the complete lack of any naps. But all the heat and overtiredness got to her eventually, and she slept--through the bells and whistles and shrieking kids, she slept. Though she woke up as soon as we put her in peace and quiet and coolness of the car. Go figure.
Iris did appreciate the animals, though (there was even an exhibit with reptiles, a giant tortoise, and a lion cub), and Josh and I took advantage of the nearness of the fair to home. After the kids were in bed, we called some friends over to watch them and headed back to ride a few rides ourselves. All in all, though, it was a lot of fun, and I think, for a few years at least, we'll stay on the small scale.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Five Things on a Friday
I've decided to take a page out of the blog of Cynthia Lord, and combine it with a page from The Short Years. I'm making a quick recap of highlights of my week, hopefully a Friday tradition from now on.
1. Linnea had her four-month doctor appointment yesterday! I can't believe she's that old already--it seems like forever and just yesterday all at the same time. She weighed in at 13lbs. 9.5 oz, and is now 24 inches long. I think she's catching up with Scott and Melody's one-month-old, Liam, now! Among other topics, we discussed starting solid food in a month! How is it possible? Not that I'm objecting, or anything. =)
2. We are in the midst of potty-training with Iris. It's going very well, actually. But I haven't purchased training pants yet, because they're so expensive! At $13 a piece (and I figure that I'll need 5), it's a pretty hefty bill. This is the whole reason you have more than one child, right? To get more use out of all the expensive baby paraphernalia!
3. I finished a book this week. That may not sound like much to write about, but I've been working on The Secret River since before Linnea was born. It was phenomenal! Amazing writing, great story, and even though I usually have a difficult time with Australian fiction, it has to be one of my favorites! Now on to The Time Traveler's Wife. Any bets on whether I'll finish it before the movie comes out on the 14th?
4. We met with my brother last night to discuss logos for our new business. It's an exciting step for us, but difficult to decide for certain what we are looking for. I came up with a great idea (yay, me!), so we'll see what the mock-ups look like in a couple of weeks!
5. I made homemade yogurt for the first time this week! It was such an amazing thing to realize that it's possible to do it on your own--no magic involved! It didn't get Iris-approval until I mixed it with some homemade blueberry jam, but all in all, it's going to save me a fortune on yogurt. Normally, we get YoBaby! for $4 for 6-1/2 cup servings. My batch made 8 cups with half a gallon of milk (even with the expensive Lochmead stuff, this is about $2). Hooray!
1. Linnea had her four-month doctor appointment yesterday! I can't believe she's that old already--it seems like forever and just yesterday all at the same time. She weighed in at 13lbs. 9.5 oz, and is now 24 inches long. I think she's catching up with Scott and Melody's one-month-old, Liam, now! Among other topics, we discussed starting solid food in a month! How is it possible? Not that I'm objecting, or anything. =)
2. We are in the midst of potty-training with Iris. It's going very well, actually. But I haven't purchased training pants yet, because they're so expensive! At $13 a piece (and I figure that I'll need 5), it's a pretty hefty bill. This is the whole reason you have more than one child, right? To get more use out of all the expensive baby paraphernalia!
3. I finished a book this week. That may not sound like much to write about, but I've been working on The Secret River since before Linnea was born. It was phenomenal! Amazing writing, great story, and even though I usually have a difficult time with Australian fiction, it has to be one of my favorites! Now on to The Time Traveler's Wife. Any bets on whether I'll finish it before the movie comes out on the 14th?
4. We met with my brother last night to discuss logos for our new business. It's an exciting step for us, but difficult to decide for certain what we are looking for. I came up with a great idea (yay, me!), so we'll see what the mock-ups look like in a couple of weeks!
5. I made homemade yogurt for the first time this week! It was such an amazing thing to realize that it's possible to do it on your own--no magic involved! It didn't get Iris-approval until I mixed it with some homemade blueberry jam, but all in all, it's going to save me a fortune on yogurt. Normally, we get YoBaby! for $4 for 6-1/2 cup servings. My batch made 8 cups with half a gallon of milk (even with the expensive Lochmead stuff, this is about $2). Hooray!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Positives and Negatives
As I am sure that you have noticed, if you follow my blog with any sort of regularity, that I have been especially negligent about writing since Linnea was born. I can blame this on the kids all I want, but the truth of the matter is that I haven't made time for writing. During the last couple of days, however, I have stumbled upon some truly inspirational blogs, and so, for the present moment, I am determined to once again keep up.
Things have been challenging around here lately, as Iris has prematurely entered her twos. Every question is always answered with an emphatic "no!", whether she actually wants the option she is given or not. Lately, "bye-bye" has replaced "no" as a surer sign of her negative feelings. Lately this phrase has encroached on things that most of us wouldn't think of leaving behind. The other day she hit her head on the crib. She kept repeating "bonkers, head" until I acknowledged that she had hurt her head, at which point she said, "bye-bye, head". That would be a tough one. This morning I told her that we should put pigtails in her hair because it would be cute. She responded, "bye-bye cute!" She may not care about looking cute, but look who won the pigtails debate!
Linnea, on the other hand, has been growing ever more positive. Right now she is contented to lay right beside me giving me happy little growls. As I seem to have the active ones, she loves jumping. We discovered this when she started to laugh hysterically at Iris' jumping. So we tried it with her--success! Sometimes I think Linnea's smiles are what get me through the days right now.
One reason I haven't been writing much lately is because summer has turned me into a domestic goddess. Not that you could tell by my perpetually messy house, but hey, we goddesses have more creative things to do than clean houses! This year I have entered into the full swing of summer's bounty and gone out picking every type of fruit I can find. This has loaded me down with several pounds of strawberries and blueberries that I then have had to figure out how to use. Luckily, my ambition has lead me to create jams, shortcakes, fruit leather, and muffins, which will all hopefully last until next summer. I think by then I will have learned that I actually need to pick a lot more next year!
My domestication this year has also led to the beginning of a small photography business. Don't get me wrong--you wouldn't want me behind the camera. Being a non-techy person, I hate all the details involved with good picture-taking. But Josh loves it, and I have a pretty good eye for posing and composition. And so, we are launching Caffeinated Nerd Photography. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.
So, that's it for catching up with summer! We'll see how it goes from here on out! And I will leave you with a video of giggles from my happy one!
Things have been challenging around here lately, as Iris has prematurely entered her twos. Every question is always answered with an emphatic "no!", whether she actually wants the option she is given or not. Lately, "bye-bye" has replaced "no" as a surer sign of her negative feelings. Lately this phrase has encroached on things that most of us wouldn't think of leaving behind. The other day she hit her head on the crib. She kept repeating "bonkers, head" until I acknowledged that she had hurt her head, at which point she said, "bye-bye, head". That would be a tough one. This morning I told her that we should put pigtails in her hair because it would be cute. She responded, "bye-bye cute!" She may not care about looking cute, but look who won the pigtails debate!
Linnea, on the other hand, has been growing ever more positive. Right now she is contented to lay right beside me giving me happy little growls. As I seem to have the active ones, she loves jumping. We discovered this when she started to laugh hysterically at Iris' jumping. So we tried it with her--success! Sometimes I think Linnea's smiles are what get me through the days right now.
One reason I haven't been writing much lately is because summer has turned me into a domestic goddess. Not that you could tell by my perpetually messy house, but hey, we goddesses have more creative things to do than clean houses! This year I have entered into the full swing of summer's bounty and gone out picking every type of fruit I can find. This has loaded me down with several pounds of strawberries and blueberries that I then have had to figure out how to use. Luckily, my ambition has lead me to create jams, shortcakes, fruit leather, and muffins, which will all hopefully last until next summer. I think by then I will have learned that I actually need to pick a lot more next year!
My domestication this year has also led to the beginning of a small photography business. Don't get me wrong--you wouldn't want me behind the camera. Being a non-techy person, I hate all the details involved with good picture-taking. But Josh loves it, and I have a pretty good eye for posing and composition. And so, we are launching Caffeinated Nerd Photography. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.
So, that's it for catching up with summer! We'll see how it goes from here on out! And I will leave you with a video of giggles from my happy one!
Friday, June 26, 2009
The blessed moments of peace and quiet
The house is a mess, I should be packing for the trip to the coast we're leaving for tonight, or cleaning, or doing just about anything but writing, but the fact is that my house is quiet. It's amazing what a brain can do when its thoughts can be heard!
The fact is that the normal noise level in our home has elevated this week due to the fact that a certain someone seems to be entering the "terrible twos", four months early. Yes, yesterday my fun-loving, cute-as-can-be child erupted into that screaming, throw-yourself-on-the-ground monster that every parent-to-be swears their children will never be like. Luckily, there are a few "I've been there" parents around who know what you're going through. As one person said on a blog I just read, it's as if "[t]he formerly cute baby in my arms had suddenly morphed into a red-faced, furious monster. Kind of like Jack-Jack at the end of 'The Incredibles.'"
It began when we had to leave The Play Factory. I had already had a rough morning. The library's annual Teddy Bear Picnic had been written on my calendar for weeks, and I was looking forward to spending quality time with my girls. We wrestled out the door with teddy bears in hand, only to leave the house 30 minutes after the concert started. Clearly I have not figured out how long to allow for getting two little ones out the door. Once we arrived at the park, there was no parking close by, meaning that we would get to the concert 45 minutes late. Considering that it was a children's concert, I thought the likelihood of having music for more than one hour was slim. Feeling like a failure, I called Josh on the phone and cried to him about what a bad mom I am. He suggested The Play Factory.
The Play Factory is a wonderful playroom set up in a local toy store. This is one of those toy stores that is fun to look around in, but hard to buy anything from because of the exhorbitant prices. However, their playroom includes all of these toys, with only the cost of $3.50 per visit. Iris loves it there. She loves it so much, that she never wants to leave. Thus, the extreme tantrum that left me with no choice other than to take her out to the car and head home immediately, instead of buying her the one thing inside that I was originally planning getting for her. My embarrassment was probably as apparent to the other moms looking at us as her screams were to the whole store and I carried her, arm around her waist with Linnea's carseat in my other hand, out the door.
What happened to make my easygoing, fun-loving child blow up like Vesuvius? I called my mom in tears a few weeks ago for the assurance that this is normal. Even though it is, however, it doesn't make it easier. No one told me that I would hate disciplining my child, that it would hurt when she would disobey and refuse to apologize. I guess that's what we get for loving. Along with the incredible joy that comes with children are the times of heartache. I wouldn't give any of it up to spare the pain, but that doesn't make it too much easier. Even so, while Iris is going through this difficult stage, I do get to look at Linnea and realize that it will be a little while before we have to deal with her in the same way. This makes me savor the her smiles much more, and makes the happy times with Iris even more precious.
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