Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Projects Forever Undone

I have carefully chosen fabric for a summer outfit for Linnea.
And one for Iris.
And fresh peaches waiting to be made into some sort of culinary treat.
And a box of freshly picked tomatoes and peppers that I still haven't decided how to use.
And a sweater that I've been knitting for 4 years now that was going to be for a friend, then for Iris, now for Linnea, and may not even be ready for her.
And a stack of books about a foot high, borrowed and recently purchased, all of which I swear I'm going to read next.
And a novel that I am working on.
And too much homemade yogurt to be consumed in the allotted time, needing another purpose.
And photography books that I need to research.
And many other things that I'm sure I'm forgetting now, but will haunt me when I remember them.
Does it ever stop? Do I ever say "no" to the accumulation of projects? Do I ever refuse a craft or creation that sounds intriguing? Of course not! I am Supermom! Hear me roar.
However, the other part of the question is this: Do I ever actually get any of it done?
This summer has been better than most in respect to my creative processes. I have written a whole chapter in my book as well as explored other ideas, I have *gasp* used my entire collection of fresh fruit to make new and interesting foods without letting (hardly) any go to waste, I have even helped Josh get our business going. But the list goes on. And I keep adding to it.
I think it's some sort of addiction. If I always have projects and places where I am needed, I will never outlive my usefulness, right? But instead of feeling this way, I usually simply end up feeling overwhelmed and frustrated with myself for not being a better housekeeper, mom, writer, cook, creator. I constantly think, "if only I had more time." But the strange thing is, I remember thinking that when I only hand Iris. And when I didn't have kids. And even when I didn't have a job. I think it's a constant part of my personality to overload my days and always wish for more time.
So, I suppose the moral of the story is to do as much as I can enjoy doing, and not get upset over the things that fall through the cracks. The most important thing about this time is that I can watch my beautiful girls grow up, not sew them an outfit they will never remember wearing! This time is short, and I'm working on focusing my efforts toward improving their quality of life and building great memories. I suppose that's why my list will truly forever remain undone!

1 comment:

Mom said...

You are right about building the memories! One thing that I heard in church today, that God (and your parents and likely Josh and your daughters...!) value you not for what you do, but for who you are. God gave you life and that life has immense, immeasurable value even if you never "did" another thing... You are an amazing creation! You are a wonderful mom and daughter! I love you!
Mom