We've Moved!

In an effort to consoladate our blogs, we've moved them to a new server. They can all be found at http://blog.caffeinatednerd.com.

I got a call from Linnea's doctor this morning with the results of an ultrasound we had done last week. I was born with hip dysplasia, and had wear a corrective brace for nine months as an infant. Because hip dysplasia is a genetic defect, we have been careful to screen our children for it. However, since Iris showed no sign of the defect, I assumed Linnea would be exempt from my genes as well. Unfortunately, this is not the case. My happy, carefree baby was found to have a mild case. The doctor assured me over the phone that this was nothing to worry about, it just meant a few x-rays, and the vast majority of babies who have this are fine with no treatment; it just works itself out on its own. I had a worse case than Linnea does, and, as Josh reminded me, I'm a runner. So everything should be fine and dandy.
But then, why do I hurt so much? I've been on the verge of tears all day, have completely lost my appetite (something that I've found happens when my kids are sick or I'm worried about their health), and can't seem to get it off of my mind. I think there is a kind of hurt that you can experience as a mom that no one else can understand. Even if you know everything is going to be okay, there is a deep internal pang that overrides everything, and almost feels as though a giant lump is taking the place of all of your internal organs. Yes, it's that physical of a feeling. You find that all you want for your kids is for them to be happy, for no hardship to stand in their way, whether or not it would be good for them. I know the logic--life has trials and we learn from them, so my kids need them, too. But that's not how I feel. You can try all you like to create a safe place where your children will feel nothing but happiness, and life and the world intrude. I suppose all we can do is equip them to deal well with life, to make the best out of every situation. Perhaps this is more a learning experience for me than anything. I just wish learning wasn't so hard.

Projects Forever Undone

I have carefully chosen fabric for a summer outfit for Linnea.
And one for Iris.
And fresh peaches waiting to be made into some sort of culinary treat.
And a box of freshly picked tomatoes and peppers that I still haven't decided how to use.
And a sweater that I've been knitting for 4 years now that was going to be for a friend, then for Iris, now for Linnea, and may not even be ready for her.
And a stack of books about a foot high, borrowed and recently purchased, all of which I swear I'm going to read next.
And a novel that I am working on.
And too much homemade yogurt to be consumed in the allotted time, needing another purpose.
And photography books that I need to research.
And many other things that I'm sure I'm forgetting now, but will haunt me when I remember them.
Does it ever stop? Do I ever say "no" to the accumulation of projects? Do I ever refuse a craft or creation that sounds intriguing? Of course not! I am Supermom! Hear me roar.
However, the other part of the question is this: Do I ever actually get any of it done?
This summer has been better than most in respect to my creative processes. I have written a whole chapter in my book as well as explored other ideas, I have *gasp* used my entire collection of fresh fruit to make new and interesting foods without letting (hardly) any go to waste, I have even helped Josh get our business going. But the list goes on. And I keep adding to it.
I think it's some sort of addiction. If I always have projects and places where I am needed, I will never outlive my usefulness, right? But instead of feeling this way, I usually simply end up feeling overwhelmed and frustrated with myself for not being a better housekeeper, mom, writer, cook, creator. I constantly think, "if only I had more time." But the strange thing is, I remember thinking that when I only hand Iris. And when I didn't have kids. And even when I didn't have a job. I think it's a constant part of my personality to overload my days and always wish for more time.
So, I suppose the moral of the story is to do as much as I can enjoy doing, and not get upset over the things that fall through the cracks. The most important thing about this time is that I can watch my beautiful girls grow up, not sew them an outfit they will never remember wearing! This time is short, and I'm working on focusing my efforts toward improving their quality of life and building great memories. I suppose that's why my list will truly forever remain undone!

Growly Bear

If you are wondering why I am posting so often all of a sudden, it's for two reasons. First of all, I told you I would. =) Secondly, I've agreed to a Write Fifteen Minutes A Day challenge hosted by Laurie Halse Anderson, and when it's this late by the time I get around to it, I don't really want to work on my WIP. So you, dear readers, get to hear my rants. =)
I thought I would dedicate this post to my beautiful Linnea. Not that I want to exclude Iris, but she maintained control of the blog for a year and a half, so it's time for her to share the spotlight. I may have mentioned before how much more interactive Linnea is becoming. This is most evident in her pre-crawling efforts. That's right, I said pre-crawling. A four-month-old. How is it that I seem to get the strong, active ones? I knew she had begun to move around her crib a lot at night, especially after she learned to roll over. You know how the doctors tell you constantly to put your baby on their back to sleep? I'd like them to come to my house and tell me how it's done. Neither of my children has slept on their back since they were three months old. It doesn't matter how many times I roll her onto her back, Linnea immediately pops around to her more preferred position. And then she crawls. Or scoots. Or whatever you want to call pushing with her back feet and pulling with her arms. She can't get her belly up yet (and with as much milk as she's been drinking lately, it's no wonder!), but she does all she can to move around to whatever she wants. The other day I watched her progress from her playmat to the carpet and back again in a period of about 30 minutes. I'm in for trouble with the two of them!
Linnea has also become quite a chatterbox. Though Iris now talks nonstop, I don't remember her being quite so talkative at this stage. I wonder what that means for my future. Hmmm. But Linnea doesn't only resort to cooing and laughing (she has the most infectious laugh you can imagine!), she now growls. Like a bear. She makes better bear and lion sounds than Iris herself! These aren't angry growls, by any means, but rather happy ones. It is hilarious, though, to be looking into the happy, contented face of my young baby and hearing a low, gutteral growl emerge.
I always worried about having two. I had so many insecurities about loving and enjoying another as much as I love and enjoy Iris. But even though I'm not a baby person, it's somehow different when you have your own. It's crazy, but I'm having the time of my life!

Fair Time!

Today we took our first family trip to the fair. After talking about taking Iris to the state fair, with a complete lack of enthusiasm from both Josh and I (feeling guilty all the while because we should, of course, want to take her), Josh drove by the Benton County fairgrounds one day to find that they were setting up for the county fair. I don't know if I've ever actually been to a county fair. I've dropped off 4-H projects, but never, to my knowledge, stayed for the experience. I always believed county fairs to be a place of livestock, crafts, and complete boredom. However, I was either wrong, or our county is just fantastic. I now wonder why we ever even considered going to the state fair. Here, you have all of the animals, rides, food, and even rodeo (it wouldn't be Oregon without it!) that the state fair offers, but on a smaller scale. And it's even close to home! As a parent of young kids, this makes it especially appealing.
We decided to introduce Iris to the fun and excitement of fair rides. They had it all--the carousel, the giant slide, the plastic hot-air balloons that get three feet off of the ground. However, my fun-loving, never-scared-of-anything go-getter decided 2/3 of the way into the carousel that she was done for the day. At least it was long enough for a picture.

Linnea did quite well despite the temperatures in the 90's and the complete lack of any naps. But all the heat and overtiredness got to her eventually, and she slept--through the bells and whistles and shrieking kids, she slept. Though she woke up as soon as we put her in peace and quiet and coolness of the car. Go figure.

Iris did appreciate the animals, though (there was even an exhibit with reptiles, a giant tortoise, and a lion cub), and Josh and I took advantage of the nearness of the fair to home. After the kids were in bed, we called some friends over to watch them and headed back to ride a few rides ourselves. All in all, though, it was a lot of fun, and I think, for a few years at least, we'll stay on the small scale.

Five Things on a Friday

I've decided to take a page out of the blog of Cynthia Lord, and combine it with a page from The Short Years. I'm making a quick recap of highlights of my week, hopefully a Friday tradition from now on.
1. Linnea had her four-month doctor appointment yesterday! I can't believe she's that old already--it seems like forever and just yesterday all at the same time. She weighed in at 13lbs. 9.5 oz, and is now 24 inches long. I think she's catching up with Scott and Melody's one-month-old, Liam, now! Among other topics, we discussed starting solid food in a month! How is it possible? Not that I'm objecting, or anything. =)
2. We are in the midst of potty-training with Iris. It's going very well, actually. But I haven't purchased training pants yet, because they're so expensive! At $13 a piece (and I figure that I'll need 5), it's a pretty hefty bill. This is the whole reason you have more than one child, right? To get more use out of all the expensive baby paraphernalia!
3. I finished a book this week. That may not sound like much to write about, but I've been working on The Secret River since before Linnea was born. It was phenomenal! Amazing writing, great story, and even though I usually have a difficult time with Australian fiction, it has to be one of my favorites! Now on to The Time Traveler's Wife. Any bets on whether I'll finish it before the movie comes out on the 14th?
4. We met with my brother last night to discuss logos for our new business. It's an exciting step for us, but difficult to decide for certain what we are looking for. I came up with a great idea (yay, me!), so we'll see what the mock-ups look like in a couple of weeks!
5. I made homemade yogurt for the first time this week! It was such an amazing thing to realize that it's possible to do it on your own--no magic involved! It didn't get Iris-approval until I mixed it with some homemade blueberry jam, but all in all, it's going to save me a fortune on yogurt. Normally, we get YoBaby! for $4 for 6-1/2 cup servings. My batch made 8 cups with half a gallon of milk (even with the expensive Lochmead stuff, this is about $2). Hooray!

Positives and Negatives

As I am sure that you have noticed, if you follow my blog with any sort of regularity, that I have been especially negligent about writing since Linnea was born. I can blame this on the kids all I want, but the truth of the matter is that I haven't made time for writing. During the last couple of days, however, I have stumbled upon some truly inspirational blogs, and so, for the present moment, I am determined to once again keep up.
Things have been challenging around here lately, as Iris has prematurely entered her twos. Every question is always answered with an emphatic "no!", whether she actually wants the option she is given or not. Lately, "bye-bye" has replaced "no" as a surer sign of her negative feelings. Lately this phrase has encroached on things that most of us wouldn't think of leaving behind. The other day she hit her head on the crib. She kept repeating "bonkers, head" until I acknowledged that she had hurt her head, at which point she said, "bye-bye, head". That would be a tough one. This morning I told her that we should put pigtails in her hair because it would be cute. She responded, "bye-bye cute!" She may not care about looking cute, but look who won the pigtails debate!

Linnea, on the other hand, has been growing ever more positive. Right now she is contented to lay right beside me giving me happy little growls. As I seem to have the active ones, she loves jumping. We discovered this when she started to laugh hysterically at Iris' jumping. So we tried it with her--success! Sometimes I think Linnea's smiles are what get me through the days right now.
One reason I haven't been writing much lately is because summer has turned me into a domestic goddess. Not that you could tell by my perpetually messy house, but hey, we goddesses have more creative things to do than clean houses! This year I have entered into the full swing of summer's bounty and gone out picking every type of fruit I can find. This has loaded me down with several pounds of strawberries and blueberries that I then have had to figure out how to use. Luckily, my ambition has lead me to create jams, shortcakes, fruit leather, and muffins, which will all hopefully last until next summer. I think by then I will have learned that I actually need to pick a lot more next year!
My domestication this year has also led to the beginning of a small photography business. Don't get me wrong--you wouldn't want me behind the camera. Being a non-techy person, I hate all the details involved with good picture-taking. But Josh loves it, and I have a pretty good eye for posing and composition. And so, we are launching Caffeinated Nerd Photography. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.
So, that's it for catching up with summer! We'll see how it goes from here on out! And I will leave you with a video of giggles from my happy one!

The blessed moments of peace and quiet

The house is a mess, I should be packing for the trip to the coast we're leaving for tonight, or cleaning, or doing just about anything but writing, but the fact is that my house is quiet. It's amazing what a brain can do when its thoughts can be heard!
The fact is that the normal noise level in our home has elevated this week due to the fact that a certain someone seems to be entering the "terrible twos", four months early. Yes, yesterday my fun-loving, cute-as-can-be child erupted into that screaming, throw-yourself-on-the-ground monster that every parent-to-be swears their children will never be like. Luckily, there are a few "I've been there" parents around who know what you're going through. As one person said on a blog I just read, it's as if "[t]he formerly cute baby in my arms had suddenly morphed into a red-faced, furious monster. Kind of like Jack-Jack at the end of 'The Incredibles.'"
It began when we had to leave The Play Factory. I had already had a rough morning. The library's annual Teddy Bear Picnic had been written on my calendar for weeks, and I was looking forward to spending quality time with my girls. We wrestled out the door with teddy bears in hand, only to leave the house 30 minutes after the concert started. Clearly I have not figured out how long to allow for getting two little ones out the door. Once we arrived at the park, there was no parking close by, meaning that we would get to the concert 45 minutes late. Considering that it was a children's concert, I thought the likelihood of having music for more than one hour was slim. Feeling like a failure, I called Josh on the phone and cried to him about what a bad mom I am. He suggested The Play Factory.
The Play Factory is a wonderful playroom set up in a local toy store. This is one of those toy stores that is fun to look around in, but hard to buy anything from because of the exhorbitant prices. However, their playroom includes all of these toys, with only the cost of $3.50 per visit. Iris loves it there. She loves it so much, that she never wants to leave. Thus, the extreme tantrum that left me with no choice other than to take her out to the car and head home immediately, instead of buying her the one thing inside that I was originally planning getting for her. My embarrassment was probably as apparent to the other moms looking at us as her screams were to the whole store and I carried her, arm around her waist with Linnea's carseat in my other hand, out the door.
What happened to make my easygoing, fun-loving child blow up like Vesuvius? I called my mom in tears a few weeks ago for the assurance that this is normal. Even though it is, however, it doesn't make it easier. No one told me that I would hate disciplining my child, that it would hurt when she would disobey and refuse to apologize. I guess that's what we get for loving. Along with the incredible joy that comes with children are the times of heartache. I wouldn't give any of it up to spare the pain, but that doesn't make it too much easier. Even so, while Iris is going through this difficult stage, I do get to look at Linnea and realize that it will be a little while before we have to deal with her in the same way. This makes me savor the her smiles much more, and makes the happy times with Iris even more precious.

Getting to Know You

I am sitting here in the peace and quiet (finally). Actually, it’s not so peaceful or quiet, with the windows open and the wind and rain tearing through the neighborhood, and the thunder crashing. But those are very peaceful sounds when you are used to two young kids who together usually make even more of a racket.
Even while the two little ones make a lot of noise together, I’ve found that I have a relatively quiet new one. Iris has always been loud and demanding, and I suppose that I had prepared myself for another in the same vein. Linnea has surprised me. It’s not as though she doesn’t cry at all—she does when she’s hungry or really wants to be held (she wants to be held all of the time, but she only cries for it sometimes), or when she wants to sleep (she’s a bit more sensitive to sleep than Iris ever was). But she’s not demanding. In fact, she’s rubbish at crying. We noticed this right from the get-go. When she works herself up, her voice gives out. It’s a bit pathetic, really, but so cute. You actually feel quite bad for her crying, so it’s rare to feel frustrated with her at all. Besides the fact that she never went through a crying-for-no-reason-we-could-discover phase the way Iris (and most babies) did. It’s wonderful to be able to understand what she wants the majority of the time!
I found out just how little Linnea cries yesterday at her two-month check up. I have not been looking forward to this appointment at all—I remember Iris’ first shots, and the betrayed look she gave me while screaming in pain. It made me cry to see my baby like this, and I was dreading seeing my second go through this as well. I held her on the table, feeling like a traitor, while the nurse held down her legs. The nurse gave the first shot. Linnea looked at me, her forehead wrinkling. The nurse gave her the second shot. Still not a peep. Only after the nurse started putting the band-aids on did Linnea’s bottom lip begin to stick out in a desperately sad look. But that was it—no crying, at least not from her. I cried while she looked at me curiously, but I was incredibly relieved that she didn’t seem to mind the shots too much. We’ll see what happens next week when we have to go back in for two more.

We also got a great sleeper in Linnea. I always thought that Iris was a good sleeper—sleeping through the night at nine months, waking up sometimes when I go in to check on her, but always saying “night-night” and going straight back to sleep. She has nothing on Linnea. For a week now, Linnea has been sleeping through the night. And I’m not talking the six-hour sleeping through the night. I’m talking about putting her to bed at 8 pm, and not waking up until 6 or 7 the next morning. Ah, bliss. How did I get so lucky? Who could ask for more from a two-month-old? Even before that, she had been sleeping that same pattern for about two or three weeks, only waking once at night. It’s been ages since I slept so well.
It’s been fun so much fun to get to know Linnea. I had so many worries about having a second—worries about not loving another as much, about not having enough time for her. But I’m finding that those worries are disappearing, and I’m enjoying being a mom of two even more than I enjoyed being a mom of one. And even though I definitely appreciate the current quiet, I appreciate the girls I was blessed with more than I could ever say. They are the light of my life. Sorry to all of you other moms out there, but I have the two best kids that have ever lived on this earth.

Monkey see. . .

I have recently noticed a sometimes fun, sometimes startling tendency that Iris has grown into: mimicry. Not only is she repeating absolutely EVERYTHING we say, but she is also doing all of the things she sees us doing. Luckily, this hasn't turned out too badly yet, but it certainly reminds us to stay on our toes. There is nothing more convicting about what we say and do than realizing that your own little one will be saying and doing the same things. So far, the only bad thing that I've noticed is that every time Iris finds a Q-tip, she tries to clean her ears--as this can be rather dangerous, we keep a close eye on every Q-tip! I'm sure there are more bad habits to come that we don't notice in ourselves yet, but maybe this will actually cause us to grow.
The good, or at least cute, that she has really picked up on is my interactions with Linnea. Iris isn't one to attach to specific stuffed animals so the "baby" changes every day. Sometimes it's her mouse, sometimes Disney Bear, and sometimes her Cabbage Patch doll. The only qualification required is availability. Once she's picked out her baby, she goes through a whole series of mothering duties, including burping the baby (complete with a "burp" sound), rocking, strapping it in the carseat or swing (or both), and today she added on giving her baby tummy time. I even had my mom tell me how she held her Cabbage Patch doll to help it walk, and even cheered and clapped its hands for a job well done.
So with my awareness of the little eyes that are watching me, hopefully I'll learn to set a good example!

Wild Corvallis

One thing that I love about being back in Corvallis is how we exist fairly peacefully with nature here. Obviously we have the concrete and buildings which invade the wild, and I (as well as MANY other Corvallists) am bitter about Legend Homes building unnecessary McMansions (which, because of the low demand, they have only carved out the space and not built anything yet)over one of my favorite hiking paths. But for the most part, Corvallis is a very green town. On sunny days like we have had this week, everyone is out in their yard doing yardwork. None of this "hire a landscaper California-Style" for us! Instead, an amazing number of people have a wealth of knowledge about horticulture. Lucky for us, two of our neighbors are experts. We are constantly receiving gifts from various gardens, as well as being offered plants that our neighbors uproot. We try to return the favor, but as of yet, we lack the expertise!

I was reminded about Corvallis' wild side twice this week. On the happier note, as I was driving home this afternoon from Josh's work, traffic on a major street was stopped to let a small herd of deer cross--into our old apartment complex. This is by no means a rare occurance, and I always love taking Iris for walks out to that Northwest neighborhood and pointing out deer, rabbits, and other wildlife to her.

However, we did have a negative effect of the wild this week. Or, rather, a sad effect. We have a resident cougar in a neighborhood somewhat close to us. The neighborhood is across the highway from us, but it's not that unreasonable to keep a look out here, too. I'm used to cougar watches in the Northwest neighborhood, as it's so much closer to MacDonald Forest (OSU's research forest), but was surprised to hear that this cougar was within 300 yards of Wilson School, the elementary school closest to us. Now, I'm all for saving wildlife, and realize that it's our fault as a society that these wildcats are coming into town--we're invading their territory rather than them invading ours. However, I have found that I have developed something of a "mother bear" temperament, and now am against anything that might threaten my family. It's interesting, but it gives me a look at the way the pioneers must have seen nature--instead of same great pastoral view, they would have seen everything as a threat. It's amazing what kids will do to change your outlook!

But we're not changing any of our habits. Here in Oregon, cougars and other wildlife are a part of life--you simply take precautions. So we celebrated the short (but promising!) return of the sun by going to different parks. Iris has become quite a brave soul, and now goes down slides on her own.

I think she even shamed her friend Colin into going down on his own yesterday. He was pretty hesitant until she had slid down a few times. Linnea, on the other hand, seems to follow her mother's philosophy and just sit back and soak in the sun:

Too bad it's raining today. But the weathermen are optimistic, and so am I!

A Glimpse of my Future

Though I promised myself to try writing every day, I did take what I would assume to be a fully justified break--Linnea Coraline will be one week old tomorrow. But with the realization that I still have a napping toddler and a newborn who sleeps a lot also came the realization that I need, now more than ever, to take time for myself. So, once again, I am working to reorganize my life (scary how frequently that happens!).

This morning I got a taste of my life that is to come. Because Linnea is a bit jaundiced (though her numbers are beginning to come down, praise God), the doctor wanted to see her at one week rather than the normal two. The first thing I learned was to never make a Monday morning appointment (though I somehow immediately forgot this and made the same appointment for next week). The office was crazy--I've never seen it so busy! I had a stack of medical history and insurance forms to fill out while Josh kept an eye on Iris who kept trying to play with a little girl who had a cold. Suddenly, my mind went blank. The question? "Mother's age". I couldn't remember. And not only could I not remember, but I couldn't figure it out. I can usually do the math to add up my age, but somehow all of my math abilities went out the window with my final. (For the record, I got an "A" in the class while pregnant; quite an achievement for my 20%brain reduction!) I kept adding with difficulty, but couldn't figure out how 1982 to 2008 could only equal 26. If I was 25 when Iris was born, how could I only be 26 a year and a half later? After much convincing, Josh assured me that the numbers were correct.

But the busy waiting room, sick kids, and brain malfunctions were only the beginning. Once in the office, Iris began hamming it up for our entertainment. Among other things, she decided to sit sideways in Linnea's car seat and rock it back and forth. We are probably bad parents for laughing at something we've been trying to get her not to do, but that's what we did, and thus encouraged her. While Josh was busy at the scales with Linnea who, finding her diaper removed, took the opportunity to do her business, Iris decided to try the car seat trick once more. This resulted in her tripping over the side and falling onto the floor in tears. With both little ones crying, I attempted to calm Iris and Josh did the same with Linnea. Then of course, the doctor came in and upset Linnea even more with her exam. While Linnea cried Iris wore a very serious and worried look on her face (she really is doing well as a big sister). The funny thing was the Linnea cried less when the drew blood from her heel for the fifth time this week, than when the doctor listened to her heartbeat. At least we were spared more incidents by the time we left--or at least there were none that my fried brain can recall!

As we left the office, we joked about how chaotic we had just realized our lives have become. But, amidst the chaos, at least we will have good stories.

Copycat

We have entered the days of mimicry in our house. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing--actually,it's usually quite cute. Iris has taken to repeating all sorts of things that we say, and now she has extended her talents of observation and imitation to things that we do. She has been working on this for awhile; several weeks ago I picked her up from Grandma's house after my class, only to have Grandma ask me when we had taught her to sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star." I was very confused. I'm not a big fan of kids songs or music (Raffi is about all that I can take), so I don't really know how she would be overexposed to that particular song. We make up our own songs, and sing those that we find entertaining (Mahna Mahna, for example). But Grandma swore that the cadence sounded right, and she kept saying "uppabuppa" (up above the). I wrote it off, knowing that she was working a lot on the words "apple" and "up", which often blended into one: "uppa". However, I awoke yesterday morning to her singing in her crib, along with Raffi's lullaby CD (that's how I didn't know she was actually exposed to that song--I never listen to the CD). Sure enough, "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" was playing, and she had added at least one word to the song: "tickle, tickle". But that is not the only song Iris now has in her repertoire. She now also sings "Mahna Mahna", to our great delight, and it sounds like "mama dododo". It's pretty funny, and great for car entertainment!

This morning, I found that she not only mimics words (which has been going on for awhile now) and music, but also actions. On mornings where I sleep in until she gets up, I try to exercise while she eats her breakfast. This is not always successful. This morning, she decided to eat her yogurt quickly, and then wanted down with me. So I let her down and kept doing my "Yoga Fat Burn". She soon began to watch the people on tv (she's pretty fascinated, especially as we almost NEVER let her even look at a tv). When the instructor began doing squats, Iris started bending her knees. When the instructor went into the Warrior pose, Iris' hands went out to her sides. And when the instructor had her palms touch over her head, Iris did the same. I wish I could have gotten a picture! The only thing that worries me, is that she wasn't imitating me in any way. In fact, she wasn't interested in watching me do the same things at all. Instead, she did whatever the person on tv did. Perhaps it's a good thing that we have a tv ban!

Good Moods

One thing that constantly amazes me about being a mom is how the mood of your child can affect your own. Obviously, if your child is in a bad mood, it definitely influences your outlook, but the same actually happens for me when Iris is in a good mood. I woke up this morning grumpy. This is really not a usual thing for me. Though I'm not a morning person, after I wake up, I have a generally good outlook on the day. However, not only am I worn out by this third trimester, but Josh's new job makes him get up and leave earlier (and I'm trying to get up at the same time so that I can have time to exercise in the mornings). And, I have a cold, which has been nagging at me for the past week. So I woke up rather exhausted, only to walk out into the house and find that the hours I spent doing dishes yesterday meant nothing, because I still have a pile overflowing the sink today--we desperately need a dishwasher! This sent me into a brooding mood, thinking about how my days as a stay-at-home mom now consist of cleaning the same things over and over every day. But I couldn't brood for long, as Iris and I had to be at her toddler class a little early this morning for a field trip. I went to get her up, and this picture is what I saw. She had a huge smile on her face, and all of her hair was sticking straight up. It's amazing to me that she has as much hair as she does in the first place, but that hair is so fine and wild and gravity-defying that it constantly gives me cause to laugh.
My cheerful girl helped me a little as I scrambled to get ready, but my day still kept going downhill. All, of course, little things like hurting my hand on the edge of the pergo flooring that the previous owners put ON TOP of the laminate that was already there (and, for the millionth time, wondering what they were thinking when they made their "improvements" to the house), but all things added up, I was not happy when we left. This abruptly changed when we arrived at the Little Gym. Iris took a couple of minutes to warm up to the other kids, but then she was off. I was actually very surprised at her skill level. She is one of the youngest kids in her class, separated by at least 4 months from the older children. However, she keeps up with them. She was very excited to find the balance beam, which she walked repeatedly holding only one of my hands. She also was very excited to try hanging from the bars when she saw the older kids doing it, and though she doesn't yet have the strength to hold on, loved the attempts. It was so much fun to watch her run around and explore the equipment, much braver than most of the children to try new things, that by the time we left, I was downright cheerful.
That was until I ran my errands. It seems like bad days simply plague you, and I had more than the normal share of the usual frustrations of shopping in a small town with a toddler. I also found out the price of the Little Gym (which seems criminal in this economy), which put a damper on my mood. So when grumpy Mommy and Iris returned home, I was ready for my down time. I decided to try to put Iris down for her nap a little early (she no longer sleeps in the morning, but she was really tired after the gym), and when I set her in her crib, she sat down and began to hug her pirate doll. Of course, this didn't last until I could get my camera, but it was sweet to see my daughter, who doesn't cuddle at all, snuggle with her doll. Sentimental as I am, I would say it was heartwarming. She continued to play and giggle while I tried to take a non-blurry picture, and even after I left the room, she sang and laughed with her toys. Leaving her in a good mood somehow changed my own, and she even inspired me to write instead of doing housework. Her good mood keeps putting this day back on track, keeping it from becoming too overwhelming for me. There are days when I feel like it's all I can do to carry myself through the endless hours, and then there are days when somehow, my little one-year-old carries us both.

The Small Insanities of Pregnancy

Pregnancy comes with more than its share of brain-dead moments, much to the delight of my husband, who loves to recount my various befuddlements and mishaps. Up until this point, I have considered it something of a triumph to have thus far escaped tragic and brainless happenings during this pregnancy. My car has escaped unscathed, I have only left my paid-for groceries in the store once, and I leave my purse in the car while shopping once every week or so--a big improvement over the last time. Until today. I suppose each pregnancy has to have its "crazy" story, and our soon-to-arrive little one is responsible for this one.
I had just left the library with my stack of books and a somewhat grumpy Iris. I went through the normal routine of putting her in her carseat, fastening all of the little latches and buckles. Iris put on her usual act of crabbiness at getting strapped in, a tradition that we go through ever single car ride, so I grabbed whatever entertaining thing I could find close at hand: my keys. Iris has always loved my keys, especially since she learned to honk the car with the little buttons. With the little squirrel finally strapped in securely, I attempted to take back the bribe. She was having none of it. So, I thought, I'll go around to the driver's side and have her give me the keys once I get in--she's usually more compliant if I ask for things then. I closed her door, and as I began to walk to the driver's side, I heard it: "Click, HONK!" She had locked herself in.
I couldn't believe I had done it. How could I have given her the means to lock herself in the car, knowing that she loves to push the lock button? I started pacing back and forth, thinking of what to do, almost in tears--not from worry, but from extreme embarrassment. In fact, I wasn't worried at all--Josh works two blocks from the library, and Iris was perfectly happy, ecstatic even, with what she had done. As she sat there repeatedly honking the car and giving great belly-laughs every time I looked at her, the woman in the car next to me took pity. She lent me her cell phone so that I wouldn't have to call from inside the library, but as I talked to Josh and asked him to rescue me, he began laughing so hard that I could barely tell him where we were. After waiting five or so minutes for him to unlock the car, standing in the parking lot like an idiot while my toddler repeatedly honked the car and laughed hysterically at me, Josh arrived and informed me of my entertainment value to his coworkers. "It was perfect, they all really needed a laugh," he informed me. It's great to know that my embarrassment provided some with a bright spot in their day.
So there is my story for this pregnancy. At least it isn't as apparent and permanent as the dent in the truck from my pregnancy with Iris. But what would this lovely nine-month season be without it's little moments of insanity--and giving others great stories to tease you for later?